Hey guys,
The last two weeks started really slow but have turned into a wild ride.
Monday, January 30th, was really kind of boring if you want me to be honest with you guys. I stayed in bed all weekend and even all day Monday. I woke up around seven and just turned on the tv. I had been watching Jane, The Virgin for the fifth time and ended up finishing it later that night. I typically don’t even watch what’s playing on the television because I’m too busy doing something else on my phone. I can’t just get up and do something so I find things I can do, mostly on my phone or tablet. I’m really warning to get back into doing my graphic design stuff on my computer. I’m just figuring out if my computer is going to be able to handle my graphic programs because it is almost 10 years old. I’m still using my MacBook Air, which my mother had, which is almost 10 years old. Of course, I made a list of things I needed to do and get done. I’m not one to be able just to sit down and watch something. Later in the afternoon, we got Snurble and Tristan out in a bonding pouch so we could work on taming and socializing them. It was just cute watching Malloy get giddy by all of the noises that they made.
Wednesday, February 1st was a very interesting day if I do say so myself. It is also when the whirlwind started happening. The first half of the day was pretty boring with me staying in bed all day. It was about eight in the afternoon when Jessica came by just to let Brantyn and the girls see me for a few minutes when there was a heavy knocking at my back door. Mallory was already laying down because she didn’t feel good. Jessa went to see who it was and comes back that it was the police. They are here wanting to talk to Mallory. Someone had called in that she needed a wellness check. She didn’t want to speak to the police and went back to her bedroom. After like forty-five minutes of back and forth between the police and Mallory, I see Mallory making a run for it through my house and a cop chasing her out my front door. I’m in the bed in my bedroom so I’m stuck but from the outside of my house, I could hear her screaming. The ambulance took her to the hospital for a mandatory 72-hour hold on her. In between, Jessica took the kids home but I ended up calling her back not even ten minutes later to come back. Once Mallory was in the ambulance the police came back in and asked if I needed someone to stay with me until Jessica got here and I told them no that she was on her way. This was my first experience with this type of situation and I have to say that I am not a fan. I hope this never happens again. I’m already wary of cops from other past experiences. Jessica came back without the kids at like 11 and we ended up getting me in my chair. We didn’t really know what else to do. While we waited until we heard something we decided to clean up a little bit and feed the sugar gliders. We ended up staying up all night.
Thursday, February 2nd, we ended up sleeping just about all day since we stayed up waiting to hear anything from Mallory. It was just about time to get the kids from school by the time we got up.
Friday, February 3rd, I had wound care so immediately after Jessica got the kids we had to get me dressed and ready to go to Alexandria. On our way out of Jena, we swung through Amy’s to grab her so she could go with us. We made a plan of the places we needed to go while on the way to Rapids so we’d have a good game plan. As we came into Ball we stopped by the Tiger Vape store to grab a vape. The wound care clinic was just about empty this week so it didn’t take but maybe thirty minutes to get to the back. As usual, they got me ready and set up for the doctor. I do believe that the measurements were just about the same; 7.5 cm deep in the tunnel but 1.4 cm deep going straight in. We made sure to tell them that we needed more honey since they were only seeing me every two weeks. We discussed my insurance being dropped and he said he’d let the surgeon know and now I just have to go 30 days nicotine free. I don’t have a for sure answer yet but I’m getting closer. I’m already going to be in the hospital 6 weeks during spring which is just great. I was wanting to have it done before it gets warm but that’s not gonna happen. When we left there we went straight to Golden Corral to get some food before we did the rest of the errands that I needed to do before we went home. I love their cheddar broccoli soup so that’s the main thing that I had but I tried some of the bourbon chicken that was really good. Once we got our belly full we headed to Petco. I needed to get some goldfish food and koi pond sticks. They had some really pretty koi in the big aquarium but until I can build everyone a big pond. When we made it home Hailey, Mia, Kelly, Addison, and Shepherd came over and we cooked some tater tot casserole for dinner. It’s been nice hearing my house full of people again if you want me to be honest. Everyone had a really good time and got our bellies full!
Saturday, February 4th, started off really interesting if I do say so myself. Little Mike calls Jessica’s phone but when she doesn’t answer he calls me. He apparently has a ferret out of Jessica’s four. He was outside climbing up a tree when he was found. Somehow the little turkey got out of his cage and made it outside. He caught him and then went to check on everyone else and everyone was out of the cage. Ferrets can open their own cage door. We all were like what in the world? At least Little Mike saw him when he did otherwise the ferret would be gone more than likely. The rest of the day was pretty laid back beside me running around with Jessica. Towards the evening, we all went to Papa’s to fry deer meat in Pam’s kitchen. I have to say that it was very odd cooking in her kitchen without her there. I always told her that she could fry a cat turd and make it taste good. This was the first time that it’s been cooked in with us there since she passed away. I got to watch Jessica and Papa work as a team to fry deer meat and cook biscuits. So many round memories have happened in this kitchen and in this house.
On Monday, February 6th, I got up around 5 AM. The kids didn’t have to be at school until seven. It was interesting to get to see how everybody acts now getting up for school. It’s been quite some time since I’ve been there while they were getting ready for school. When Jessica got back from taking the kids to school I got a bath for the first time since Tanner left in my tub. It was absolutely amazing. I soaked so long that all of my dead skin just wiped off. I didn’t even get cold after getting out which surprised me a lot. I can tell it will take a few baths to make me feel clean but I definitely feel cleaner after just one bath. When I got out Amy came and smoked with us and we made plans to meet in town at the nail salon a little later that day. Jessica and I clean the house after she left just trying to get everything packed back up from having the kids. we went to Chrissy's nails here in Jena and I got my eyelashes done for the first time and I have to say that I love them. It brings out my eyes and makes me look like I have makeup on. The price really wasn’t bad either. It was only $50 a set but I ordered some stuff off Amazon so Jessica could do mine again but herself. We went to Donna’s house so Jess could clean out her freezers and rearrange them. I got to sit outside in the sunshine and just enjoy being with everyone again. Donna ended up giving me nine pounds of deer sausage. I did try to explore the yard with Jessica but it was so wet that I kept getting stuck. I even hit one big hole that almost made me flip my chair. We ended up going by sonic to get me a Junior cheeseburger and a couple of cheese sticks before coming home. Jessica had to go get the kids from the schoolhouse and then home to be able to pack some more clean clothes and stuff so she could come back and stay the night with me. Kelly and Amy ended up coming back over and we had a very good time just laughing and joking in the kitchen. It was very nice to have my house filled with people again if I do say so myself. It was around 9 o’clock that night before I got in bed and I passed out tired.
Tuesday, February 7th started really early for me, I ended up waking up at 3 AM and couldn’t go back to sleep. At 6:30. It was time to get the kids up and ready for school. Everybody was a little grumpy that morning. Jessica took the kids to school before coming back and getting me in my chair. Amy asked us to take her to a dentist appointment in Alexandria that morning. I played with my makeup just to see what it would look like with my new eyelashes. It wasn’t perfect but it did pop my makeup too. Amy met us at my house around 9 and we headed out to her dentist appointment in Alexandria. we had to stop by Kelly‘s for a minute to give her her vape that she left at my house the night before heading out to Alexandria. While Amy went to the dentist appointment, Jessica and I stayed outside in the vehicle. I made a couple of phone calls that I was needing to make while we waited. It took her about an hour in the dentist's office. Once we left, we agreed on the Chinese restaurant to eat at, then came home. It’s been quite a minute since I’ve had a Chinese buffet so I was trying to explore different dishes to be able to find some type of Chinese food that I like. I normally just go for the bourbon chicken or bbq chicken because I don’t know anything else that I like. It was almost time for the kids to get out of school by the time we got home, so Amy went home and Jessica went to get the kids. Kelly came over to smoke while waiting for Addison’s medicine to get filled at Walmart. She has bronchitis and something else but it’s not contagious. Jessica had already made plans with Derek to go to Alexandria for Brantyn‘s birthday. I didn’t want to go so I stayed home by myself and did a few things as far as personal care and even wipe down a bunch of the dust that was collecting on some of the stuff around my house. They didn’t get home until around 11.
Wednesday, February 8th started just lovely. None of the kids wanted to get up for school because they got home so late the night before. Jessica didn’t want to get up either, to be honest, so she decided to let them all stay home from school that day. Charming came hoping through the living room just about the time that Jessica had just laid down. All I could think about was Patsy trying to eat him if he made it to my room which was right where he was heading. Jessica threw a big blanket over him to catch him and put him back in his cage. His cage mate Nova was still tucked away in the pouch so thankfully he was the only one out. Whenever body was awake and finally moving Jessica went to Trout to do a few things and then to Walmart. Kelly came by after everyone was back at my house to discuss all of the food that would be needed for the skating rink the next day. We ended up cooking pork chops and rice for dinner. It was so good if I do say so myself. It was around 9 o’clock before I got in bed again. My wound looked the same and was still the same depth.
When I woke up on Thursday, February 9 Jessica was still awake from a headache just about all night. I could already tell it was going to be a lovely day especially since we had the skating rink party that afternoon. Once all the kids were at school, Jessica climbed back in bed to try to catch a nap for a minute before Hailey and Mila came over. We relaxed in bed until 1 o’clock that afternoon when we finally got me in my chair. It wasn’t too long after getting me in my chair that Jessica had to go get the kids from the car line and come back to my house. During that time we made sugar cookies, cut fruit made sandwiches, and made Velveeta dip for the skating rink party. We headed to the skating rink at 5:30-7:30 for Amy's birthday. Everyone had so much fun. It was nice getting to see everyone and to watch them skate around. It was honestly kind of crazy to see how big all of the kids were skating around on their own pretty much. It was the last couple of rounds around the rink before we had to go when Kelly fell on her ankle. She could tell that she had heard it before she even got to the benches. She tried to put a sock on it and it hurt too bad so they ended up taking her to the emergency room. Come to find out Kelly broke her ankle in two places. Amy and pumpkin brought the kids to my house so that Kelly’s vehicle made its way to my house and we could not fit all the kids in the van too after loading up the ice chest and everything else from the party.
Friday, February the 10th started around 6 o’clock that morning. I even woke up a little later than I normally do, which was kind of odd but expected after the drama from the night before. It was around 630 when we got all the kids up and ready for school. Heather came by the house for a few minutes to blow a little time before she had to go to town to sign some paperwork just as we are doing wound care and getting me ready to get in my chair. The depth of my wound is still about 7 1/2 cm. We had to pick up crawfish for Amy around noon so I went to pick her up around 10 or 11 o’clock. We stopped by Airport Grocery to get gas and some fish for lunch. The fish was fresh and so good. It’s been a hot minute since I’ve gotten fish from there but in my opinion, they have the best. It’s always so crunchy and crispy. That’s how I like my fried fish not all meaty with no crunch. Mallory’s counselor called while we are sitting at the crawfish place, Tom’s Seafood Market, asking a bunch of questions and if it was okay for her to return to my house. She asked the questions so fast that I was overwhelmed and answered all of them that I could remember. We went to Walmart in Kingsville to let Amy get anything that she needed for the crawfish boil. I asked to stop through the clothes before we left just so I could see if there was anything I liked. Since losing so much weight I don’t have a whole lot of clothes that fit me. Most of all my clothes are way too big for me. I found three new pairs of pants that I like but didn’t find any shirts. I got two pairs of leggings and a pair of jogging pants. I’m honestly excited to wear them. On our way out of Ball, we stopped by the vape shop so that Jessica could get a vape before heading back towards Jena. We came to Jena Walmart for stuff we couldn’t find in the other Walmart. Jessica and I stayed in the vehicle while Amy went inside. Walmart had everything that was needed except for corn so we went to Mac’s for corn on the cob before we dropped Amy and all the groceries off at her house. We were put in charge of the shrimp so we stopped by a local truck to get the shrimp and took them back to Amy. Jessica and I went to get the kids from the pickup line together before taking me back home so that she could go to her mom’s to get some reusable crawfish trays. Hailey brought me to the Twisted Feather for an alcoholic beverage before going on to the crawfish boil. She was supposed to stay the night so that Jessica could go home to pack and just sleep in her own bed. Everyone stayed inside the house most of the night even though I couldn’t get in the house so I was outside by myself most of the time. Hailey and I came home around eight. She was trying to lay Mia down and Patsy was outside. She would not stop barking. Hailey decided to start yelling and cussing at Mia because she wouldn’t lie down, Brantyn for trying to help and Patsy for barking. I’m ignoring her trying to just get ready for Jessica to come put me in bed. This continues for five minutes and Hailey gets up and throws my door open and starts going after Patsy while still yelling and cussing. I wasn’t about to stand for it. Patsy’s already skittish and hard to catch. I open my door and told her if this is how the weekend was going to go she could pack her shit and leave and I would stay by myself.
So I kicked her out and stayed by myself for the first time in two and a half years. I was honestly really scared to do it by myself because I know if I have problems it could mean something bad could happen. I also know that I was able to stay by myself before Tanner and I got together so I can do this alone again. I would just have to figure out how to do the things that I needed myself. Jessica ended up taking Kelly and shepherd to Rapides because he was having a little trouble breathing, and was coughing a whole lot. We honestly figured he had bronchitis from Addison so it was better to be safe than sorry. They ended up admitting him to keep him for observation. He has three different types of viruses he is fighting. I stayed up until probably 2 AM just trying to get used to my house by myself. It took me till almost 11 o’clock that night to be able to get Patsy back inside anyway. I did everything I could to keep myself busy so I didn’t have time to think about being here by myself or anything else that I have going on in my brain.
Saturday, February 11, 2023, will forever be one day that I will remember. It’s the first morning that I woke up in my house alone since before Tanner lived with me almost 3 years ago. It was a very odd feeling. If I’m being honest, it was kind of lonely to wake up by myself. I have enjoyed my time alone. I ended up waking up at 5 AM and couldn’t go back to sleep until after Jessica came by. She came by the house to give me a catheter, refill my water, and do anything else that I needed before she left to go to Texas with Amy. When she left, I ended up going back to sleep from about noon until three. I needed to catch up on my sleep schedule anyway. My body is not used to running around with Jessica anymore like I have been, especially while trying to heal a wound but honestly, it’s been very good for me and my mental health. I haven’t had time to really think about a lot. When I woke up I got into a cleaning mood and went straight for my kitchen. I put up the clean dishes, put away some odd and end stuff that got left, and put toys away that the kitchen somehow left in my kitchen. Next, I went ahead and washed the sugar gliders food dishes so that would be done by the time my dad came to help me. It wasn’t very long after I got them washed that he showed up. He brought me a hamburger, fries, and Dr. Pepper from McDonald’s for supper. He sat down while I ate and we had a good conversation. After I got done eating, I taught him how to feed the sugar gliders and we took them their food. At least the food dishes aren’t as complicated as they used to be because there are not as many sugar gliders as there used to be. When we got back to the kitchen, I had to show him how to put a catheter together and put a catheter in for me. I have to say that was kind of interesting. It’s not hard, but my dad has never had to do it for me so I had to show him. He said good night and went home, agreeing to come by in the morning to check on me. It was around ten o’clock before I could go to sleep. I couldn’t get Patsy, Mallory’s dog, to come inside for the night and I just couldn’t sleep. I did everything I could to go to sleep.
Sunday, February 12th, I woke up around five again on Sunday, February twelfth, this time knowing that Jessica was in Texas and I was alone. My house has been quiet, different than I’m used to. My dad was coming to Walmart to do some shopping before going back home for the day so he came back out to my house to check on me. By the time he got here around eight, I was already in the kitchen cleaning up some. Since I had already done some of the work the night before, my main goal was to wipe off the island. I had asked him to grab me a Red Bull on his way and he ended up bringing me a four-pack from Walmart which means I’m good for at least three more days. I drink one a day like coffee. I got him to peel me some mandarins for breakfast and help me put a new catheter in since the one from the night before was full and I took it out before he arrived. While he was here we talked about all types of things. Jessica called to check on me while they were on the road, saying it would be around one before they came home. Jessica didn’t make it home until around five or six. By this point, I had already done a lot so I was trying to just stay off my wound. Jessica put me in the bed, fed me some Popeyes chicken nuggets and macaroni and cheese, and then fed the sugar gliders. She told me good night and to call if I needed her during the night. Then I was home alone again.
I concluded that I am going to have to do this for the rest of my life worrying about someone being here while I’m in bed or if someone comes to put me in bed so I need to learn how to be alone during the night when I can. I ended up going to sleep pretty early just because I was alone and I was kind of scared to be here in bed all alone. I’m writing this at 6 AM the night after spending the night alone and I've done well. I didn’t have a single problem last night. Oddly, I know there isn’t anyone else here. I do know that Jessica will be back by as soon as she drops the kids off at school.
Until next week guys!
-April
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