When you become paralyzed you become dependent on your wheelchair, it's now your whole life. Your wheelchair becomes your legs and to some of it is a great experience but sometimes it's a total nightmare. I see and read about people becoming paralyzed and getting in a wheelchair then goes about their life. 

Rachelle Friedman became paralyzed in 2010 a year after my accident and she's been in the news ever since. You never hear that she's having to put her whole life on hold because her wheelchair caused a problem. She's been sooo lucky not to have any problems but I am having some difficulty with my brand new wheelchair. I got my Permobil C300 in October 2013 and ever since then I've had breakdown after breakdown. The back of the chair pinched my back so bad that it left a 5 centimeter deep hole. I've also had two breakdowns on my butt that's been too deep to explain. I've never had a bad breakdown on my butt until then. The first sore put me in the bed for a whole year and I'm battling the second right now. 

I'm not in bed but I'm stuck in tilt with my back reclined all day besides when I'm eating or when we are out and about. I feel like I've already spent enough of my life in bed or stuck in tilt because of a break down. Is there not someone who could help me get a new wheelchair that's better for me? I have a Go Fund Me account set up to raise money for a new wheelchair that stands up. It could change my entire life but I've already blogged about the advantages the standing wheelchair so I won't go back over it. If you read this blog please share my account and donate what you can to the fund. 

Today I've decided I'm going to do some modeling. I'm not for certain when this will take place but I've already talked with two photographers about photo shoots! I'm so excited. Last night I ended up falling asleep before I could do my blog so tonight I am writing in the car getting something to eat. I have all of this exciting things coming my way this year. I can't wait to share the details with all of you.

Today I was contacted by a member of a spinal cord injury support group that has a cousin that's in the Springfield hospital after a car accident on May 7. He ran through a red light colliding with another truck, ejecting him twenty feet away. He has a incomplete C5, and C6 spinal cord injury along with other major complications. He just turned eighteen. I told them that we are only an hour away and if they needed anything we were here. I also said that when he became stable I'd love to go visit with him and his family. This is what I want to do the rest of my life! I want to help other spinal cord injury survivors and inspire others to never give up!

I've also decided that instead of staying in my chair all the time I will start going to bed at night. Since I've been staying in my chair I've had two major pressure sores that's taking up a huge part of my life. I'm just very tired of not being able to do the things I want to because I have to keep my weight off my butt. In the pictures I'm posting with this blog I am including some very graphic images of the pressure sores I've been dealing with for the past two years. 

If you are reading this please go like my Facebook page at Facebook.com/aprilotwell123

-A

So excited! My new computer comes in tomorrow and that means some serious work begins. I'm going to be start college next week so in the mean time I will be doing to updates on the websites. I have a lot on my mind that I want to do so I have to sort things out and do them one at a time.

I'm watching "Heartland" on Netflix and its a wonderful show. It's about a ranch in Canada that is a horse trainer and a dude ranch. The teen Amy who's the star was in a car accident with her mom as they try to rescue a horse. When she wakes up she finds that her mom died in the accident and the funeral has already taken place. If you watch Netflix it's definitely worth the time to watch it. I usually get tired of a show after there becomes so much drama that it just keeps going on and on. Heartland does not spread out the drama on multiple episodes, at the most so far the drama has only lasted two episodes.

So much goes on in one day that it's hard to tell everyone one of you what happens so please forgive me. I'm still fighting a pressure sore on my butt that has just come to a stop on healing. We are doing everything we know to do to it but it's just not healing anymore. Yesterday my mom said it's a little bigger now so I have to stay off of it as much as I can. You can't believe how boring everything is when all I can do is tilt back and watch Netflix. I've been watching "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" when my mom is not in here to watch "Heartland" with me. She's into it but not Buffy.

For now I'm off!

So it's been a few days since I wrote anything here and for that I apologize. My computer is down so I'm waiting for my new one to come in the mail. I decided to go with a windows 8 computer that turns into a tablet too. I love my MacBook Pro a lot but I want to have the 2 in 1. Once I get my Mac backed up I want to sell it and some other things to get a brand new MacBook. Gotta get started with my summer course, work on glider book, work on my accident book, and do my replies on my fantasy site. So much to do so little time to do it in!

Also the last few days I've been thinking really hard about when I want to have a baby. I have to think ahead of time to plan everything out. I want to get a weighted doll to practice on even though I know it's not the same as a wiggling and crying baby but it's got to help some. I hope anyway. I've been looking at some things that I think will be handy and putting it in a Pinterest pin.

We had four little boys and one little girl puppies born today so it's been exciting. Well I'm heading off for now.

I cannot say that today has been boring but it's been a lazy day. My mom is still not feeling good so I'm stuck in the rv. I've done everything under the sun to keep myself occupied but it still gets boring after a while. Here's what I've done today:

Watch tv

Played "Plants vs Zombies"

Checked Pinterest

Uploaded Instagram pictures

Eat lunch

Played with Romeo and Zoey

Watched "Heartland"

Sketched

Tilted back to relive pressure

You get the point anyway. The only thing exciting I've done in the last two days was starting a savings account and I went to the store two blocks over by myself to get some groceries. It was cool to be able to do something on my own for a chance. I'm twenty years old and post six years of my accident and I think that's the third time of doing or going on my own. I know my mom worries about me and she has every right too but there will come a day when she wont be here to help me and I will have to do it myself. I opened a savings account so I can start saving up for when I'm ready to have a baby. In my plan I've made in my head it's when I've turned 25 is when I'll be ready to bring a baby into the world. It never hurts to research and start looking for things I need right? If no, oh well because I've started! I've put everything in a Pinterest board. I guess I'm gonna head to bed.

Happy Independence Day!

-A

Today has been kinda rough considering that I went to bed at three last night to get up at nine. Well guess who can't sleep again tonight. I wonder if it has something to do with getting off the baclofin. I'm trying to get off everything that I don't need or what I feel is not working for me. I am glad to be getting off most of the medications that I take because that's one less expense, one less toxin killing organs, and when I do decide to have a baby I won't be on as many medications that can harm the fetus. I have not really looked into what my medication could do to a fetus but I'm sure it's not really good.

I've been researching everything I can about a pregnancy with a spinal cord injury but there is just not a lot of info out there so I will just look up some moms that is a quadriplegic like me. I have talked to one lady bug it would be good to get other people's views as well. I know that my injury is so high that it would be a high risk pregnancy but I think as long as I research and plan everything I will be fine. Women have been giving birth to babies for as long as this earth has been here.

I'm gonna try going to sleep now.

-A

I'm a person that has feelings, I'm not some robot or a veggie! I'm just like you but I cannot use most of my body. I hate when someone starts to stare at me I only just smile as they pass me by where ever we are. I cry, get mad, smile, laugh, and have all the same emotions just like you. I've been put to the test the last week or so with what's happened with my mom. I've never really had to think about the distance future where my mom is not able to take care of me and our animals.

It's hit me really hard like someone has hit me and knocked the breath out of me. I have to think about what will need to be done when that time has come, and after my mom is gone. I hate to think about when my mom will leave me to be with God and my mom's mom Annette. I cannot help but start to tear up but I know that one day I will have to plan this so she knows that I'm in good hands. I love her so much and I don't want to loose her ever.

As you age you start putting stress on your body and you may not even know you have. The bones can become brittle or even start to cause you severe pain from the where and tear you've been putting on them. When I was little and my parents were still married I didn't really have my father in my life, just when he would call every few weeks. He was overseas as a oild field manager. It was left up to my mom to take care of not only me but the inside cleaning but doing the grass, fixing anything that was broken and that is too much stress on you body. It may not show at the time you're putting the stress on but once you get older the signs of everything you've ever done can present yourself.

When my accident happened I was not really fit, I hate running because I could not go fast and run straight. I was always outside doing cartwheels or something so I was healthy. Now my posture is really bad, I've gained so much weight (though lately I have lost a good amount of weight), my hips are cooked pretty bad, have the onset of scoliosis. I cannot imagine what all of these problems are going to do to my body later in life. I've been weaning off some of my medicine and it's doing really good surprisingly. There's no extra spasticity. I have been leaning to my left more which is the opposite of the previous scoliosis from back in high school. I don't have any pictures right now but my head hung off of the right side of my headrest that if someone would open the door they would've hit me. I'm seeing more clonus since being off some of my medication but I think it's just because I'm so tight.

Good night! I can hardly keep my eyes open.

-A