The first night was so hard to go through as it's the first night she won't kiss me on the forehead and tell me good night and she loves me. I didn't want to go to sleep in fear that I would have a nightmare. I could hear the shot over and over in my head. I had to call Gail to talk to her for a little while and we both cried before I could go to sleep. I can say that I hope time helps heal this hurt. I am at a loss for words really right now so I may take a break from everything and just focus on myself healing. I've had family and friends here around me which is helping a lot. We tell stories and memories that have had us laughing and crying but in a good way.
They have taken Momma's body for an autopsy which I couldn't bare to think about them cutting her open and things. That is my mom, I know that she's not there anymore but I can't do it. Today was so hard because I couldn't keep my mind off what the CSI shows do when they cut open a body. I think I watch way too much of crime shows! Momma always asked me to change the shows and now I guess I know why.
I was told that the bullet went in the back of the head on the left side and exited the right which makes me wonder. My mom was right handed so why not use her dominate hand? I know no one was there but it just makes me curious anyway.
Jessica came up with a great idea for giving me a little independence while being close to family that takes care of me. There's a portable building that's been finished on the inside so bring it up to Jessica's porch so it's my own house. Of course I will sleep in the house with Jessica but with a baby coming and the little toot it's going to be difficult to focus on school work and my job. I'll have a place for me time! I've been waiting for some independence and I love this idea. My dad said he'd check on the conditions of it and another one tomorrow.
They have taken Momma's body for an autopsy which I couldn't bare to think about them cutting her open and things. That is my mom, I know that she's not there anymore but I can't do it. Today was so hard because I couldn't keep my mind off what the CSI shows do when they cut open a body. I think I watch way too much of crime shows! Momma always asked me to change the shows and now I guess I know why.
I was told that the bullet went in the back of the head on the left side and exited the right which makes me wonder. My mom was right handed so why not use her dominate hand? I know no one was there but it just makes me curious anyway.
Jessica came up with a great idea for giving me a little independence while being close to family that takes care of me. There's a portable building that's been finished on the inside so bring it up to Jessica's porch so it's my own house. Of course I will sleep in the house with Jessica but with a baby coming and the little toot it's going to be difficult to focus on school work and my job. I'll have a place for me time! I've been waiting for some independence and I love this idea. My dad said he'd check on the conditions of it and another one tomorrow.
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