Today was a pretty good day besides the fact that I woke up at like four. I was playing my games until Jessica got up. I also started texting Richard when he woke up to get ready for work. I have to say that I enjoy talking with him, I can be myself without holding back. We kinda grew up together as friends in school. We were never really close but we were friendly toward each other. I kinda think I may have a future relationship with him. So I try to be honest and sincere with him. I do have a habit of talking dirty with him just as a joke. I know that it's all fun and games so it doesn't matter what anyone thinks about it. I am a grown ass woman.
When physical therapy was over we decided to go down to factory connection to get some clothes. They have some cute clothes! We done quite a bit of shopping before heading home. When we got home I went to my apartment and done a few things to pass the time and to give Jessica and Derek some time alone before Brantyn got off the bus. I turned on the music that's on my phone and cried my ass off when some of the songs from the funeral came on.
I have decided to bury my feelings until I'm mentally ready to deal with the loss of my mom. It's still hard to comprehend that she's gone and she's never coming back. I think of her often and hope I'm making her proud. If I'm not then she can kick my ass later for it. I need to become my own adult and my own person. I miss her terribly but deep down I know I'll be okay. This pain will never truly go away but for portions of my life it will fade into the background and others it will be as if it was yesterday.
When physical therapy was over we decided to go down to factory connection to get some clothes. They have some cute clothes! We done quite a bit of shopping before heading home. When we got home I went to my apartment and done a few things to pass the time and to give Jessica and Derek some time alone before Brantyn got off the bus. I turned on the music that's on my phone and cried my ass off when some of the songs from the funeral came on.
I have decided to bury my feelings until I'm mentally ready to deal with the loss of my mom. It's still hard to comprehend that she's gone and she's never coming back. I think of her often and hope I'm making her proud. If I'm not then she can kick my ass later for it. I need to become my own adult and my own person. I miss her terribly but deep down I know I'll be okay. This pain will never truly go away but for portions of my life it will fade into the background and others it will be as if it was yesterday.
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