So today I went to church with Jessica where my brother in law preaches, I figured I'd have a bad time staying focused but the sermon was hitting the nail on how I'm feeling these days. I feel like God has forgotten me or that he's turned his back on me. I know that he hasn't but I begged him not to take her but he did anyway. I guess I'm just angry with God for taking my momma. I don't understand why he took her home when I still need her. I don't know how long I will be angry but I can't help it. I'm still a little girl who needs her momma there to hold her and tell her she loves her. I may want some independence but not this much. I want my momma so bad. I turn twenty one in four days and I may have a smile on my face but I'm crying on the inside. I found out that my dad was planning a surprise party for me and my nephew on Sunday. I am not supposed to know about it of course. The cat got out of the bag when aunt Pam tried to cover her mouth but I read her lips in the mirror. It was so funny I couldn't help but start laughing. Then after church my step sister told me it was at Dad's house at 2 on Sunday. I'm excited to see what happens and what I'm getting for my birthday.
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