I hope everyone has been having a great start to the new year. It’s been a pretty good week for me overall.
Monday was a little on the boring side. I had made plans with a guy friend to hang out for New Year’s so I decided to go ahead and get up in my chair. I did a little bit of housework and some personal hygiene stuff that I could do myself. It was later in the day that Ryan had to cancel because of time getting away from him. He lives two hours away from me so he wouldn’t have been able to stay long because of time restraints. So for the remainder of the day, I got to sit on the porch enjoying the sunshine while doing a few things on my phone. Mallory and I cooked a pork tenderloin wrapped in bacon with sweet peas and cornbread. It was supposed to be black-eyed peas but since Mallory doesn’t eat beans she didn’t know the difference. I got a good shock when I took a bite of my pea and cornbread mix and it was sweet peas, not black-eyed peas.
Tuesday I ended up having to get back in my chair because Mallory had to go to her scheduled visitation with her little boy. It was something that slipped by our brains until about seven that morning. While she was gone I went to work on my kitchen. It was definitely not how I like it kept. I started by gathering all of the dirty dishes that I could and then went to work in the sink. When my hands felt gross from being in the water I would move to something else and then go back to the dishes. I finished everything that I could by myself because I continued to clean around the house. There were a few times that I wanted to cry because I couldn’t do something as easily as I could.
Wednesday was pretty boring overall. I just stayed in bed. I placed a Walmart order with a few things that needed to be picked up for the house as well as picked up the ingredients for spaghetti. One day I want to try my hand at making my own spaghetti sauce, but until then I just used a jar from Walmart that had garlic and cheese in the sauce already. I honestly had trouble making up my mind if I wanted to use just meatballs or ground beef. The only thing exciting that happened on Wednesday was the fact that I got my pressure alternating cushion in the mail. It didn’t come till around 5 o’clock that afternoon. I’m hoping that this type of cushion will help relieve the chance of getting another pressure sore once this one has healed up. My dad came to install a gas heater in my bedroom. When the weather went down to 17° at night, the temperature in my bedroom also would not stay up. My bedroom and bathroom are located furthest from the air conditioning unit so I am assuming that the hot air does not reach these two rooms in my house. I didn’t want to get stuck without another heater if the weather were to turn back cold. He got just about everything hooked up and placed on the wall but decided to come back Thursday to finish hooking the line up under the house.
I reached out to my academic advisor at Southern New Hampshire University this week as well to let him know that I would not be able to start classes like I had planned because my wound was not healed. He agreed that it would be best to not go forward with the class until I am healed up completely so we have dropped all of my classes. I’m honestly not sure how I feel about it yet. I know that it is the best thing for me right now because it’s obvious that I am not going to be able to do schoolwork with trying to heal up my pressure sore.
Thursday was honestly busy but so worth it. I ended up having to get in my chair because Mallory had to go to Harrisonburg for an appointment. While she was gone, I ended up seeing my dad finish putting in the heater line, Jessica do wound care, my Maw Sue came to visit, and a friend named Ryan come over, I already knew that it was going to be a busy day. My dad was the first one to show up with my uncle Ricky to finish putting in the gas line to my heater. It took them about two hours to finish everything up. There were complications after complications, of course, but they finally got it up and running. It’s an extremely large heater so I’m not gonna need it very much. While my dad was here I got him to look at the toilet in my bathroom that has been constantly running. He told me that it needs a whole new insert piece and then he would bring me one the next time he come this way. This is one reason why my water bill was extremely high this month; $202. I know the water leak played a big hand in the water being so expensive, but this is probably the first water bill I have ever seen this high. It wasn’t even a good ten minutes after my dad left that Jessica and Sue pulled up. This was the first time I have gotten to see Sue in a while and it was great. I can’t even begin to describe how much I miss the fun times we used to have sitting on Jessica‘s porch in the sunshine. It’s honestly kind of crazy to me how much time shows on my family members. Sue fell asleep on my couch while Jessica and I did my wound care. We let her sleep while we went outside for a few minutes, then checked on all of the fish. I am not exactly sure how, but somehow I have a missing beta fish in my 20-gallon aquarium. We have searched everywhere and can’t find her. The only thing I can see that happened is one of my cats got on the lid of the aquarium and got her. I guess there is one more possible answer which is she jumped out of the tank and died but if this is the case, I may not find a body with all the animals I have running around my house. After a little while they had to go. Again, not even ten minutes after they left that Ryan showed up. He’s a little bit goofy and short (shhh don’t tell him I said that). We met a while ago, I want to say back in August. At first, we were thinking about dating but decided to just stay friends. He is a good friend. He’s come to my house multiple times and he even came to visit me when I was in the hospital back in November. We sat on the porch for a little while, enjoying the sunshine while we talked. I was trying out my new cushion and it was starting to hurt my butt so I asked Ryan if he would mind putting me in the bed and we’d watch a movie. He agreed so we put me back in bed and cuddled up to watch Shameless together. He knows that I can’t control my body temperature so he says he’s my heat rock. The warmth coming from his body feels a lot better than the heater but sucks when he moves. He lives two hours away from me, so it wasn’t but a few hours before he had to go home to take care of his niece. Since I was still home alone, we had to put me back in my chair. This was the first time he’s ever done it by himself, and I have to give the man credit, he did very well for the first time. It was absolutely hilarious watching him drive my chair back and forth to the bathroom. Once we got my back in my chair, we sat on the porch for a few more minutes talking before he decided he needed to leave, he was already running late from when he was supposed to leave. I got to sit in the sunshine for a little while longer before Mallory came home. It wasn’t long after she got home that we ended up putting me back in bed as much as I didn’t want to.
Friday was wound care so I had to get back in my chair. I woke up extremely early like I always do; around 4 AM. I played on my phone until it was seven. Once I was in my chair, I washed my face and brushed my teeth. It’s amazing how something as simple as that can make a person feel better. We left a tad bit early so that we would have plenty of time to get there. We didn’t have to wait too long in the waiting room surprisingly. “Exam room two please,” the nurse said as she took us back. Steven was back from his vacation finally. I honestly didn’t like the timeframe for this surgery. The doctor mentioned that my pre-protein levels and my protein levels were just a hair lower than what they needed to be so I also have to work on my protein intake which I already knew I was going to have to do anyway. The big kicker is that, I now have to be nicotine free for my surgery. Normally this wouldn’t be a problem but they are actually checking my blood levels for nicotine this time. I’m not so much worried about the nicotine addiction because I have swapped to a Vape that is no nicotine and I am doing just fine. But why the fuck couldn’t they have told me this when they mentioned the surgery? So they are going to monitor my nicotine levels and go from there on surgery. They still talked about my insurance needing to be dropped or changed in order for the surgery too. So right now I don’t even have a sight for the end of this wound. I don’t know how long it takes for nicotine levels to drop or how long my surgery will take to get approved. I’m fucking stuck in limbo here. This is not a place my mental health needs to be alone. I’m ready to just say fuck it and give up. This bed is not doing me any favors as far as physically or mentally and I’ve had it. My mental health is what’s struggling here and in my own opinion it’s the most important part of being healthy. My body can be sick but as long as my mind is strong I can make it. This is completely different. My mind is weak as well as my body.