I have to find a way to deal with these feelings or this is going to drive me crazy. I guess the manner of death is my main issue because she felt that taking your own life is murdering yourself so it wasn't a good thing. I don't know why I'm starting to feel these feelings or really what I'm feeling. I'm just not happy I guess. I honestly don't know..
Why can't I just move on?!? I don't understand. I want to be happy and around everyone else I am happy or pretend to be but when I'm alone I start getting sad, lost, lonely, depressed and I don't know what to do about it.