So when my accident happened I was in a relationship with a young man that's a little under a year younger than me. We were children at fourteen and didn't really know what dating meant besides kissing and being intimate with each other. His name was Matt, and I'm still friends with him despite the way things ended with us. He was really there for me when the accident happened when he didn't have to be. He would make sure I ate, made sure I never hurt myself or just watching out for me. I ended the relationship because I fell for someone that was all talk and no action. It is one mistake I regret but he's happy with a brand new baby boy that was born shortly after my mom left this world. In the seven years since the accident that left me completely dependent upon someone I have not been in a serious relationship. I have always seen my wheelchair as ugly, unloveable, strange, or just not something that I could see someone else wanting to be with me because of it. I don't know why I felt this way, maybe it's the way I get stared down every place I go. So I never really put myself out there in the dating world. When I moved back to Louisiana to live with Jessica I got into contact with a guy that I went to school with when I lived here. We got to talking to each other and I feel like I could trust him with just about any kind of secret and I'm very comfortable talking to him. As these last four months went on we started to like each other more and more. One day he came over to watch a movie with me and he kissed me. It was the first time I've been kissed in quite some time. When he left that night we kinda drifted. I asked questions and he said that he couldn't be the man that I deserved right now and not to wait for him. So I didn't.
I created a Tinder account to try to at least meet new people whether or not anything would actually come from it. After a few days I started to get matches, which just shook me up, there's guys out there that think I'm pretty enough to give a relationship a try. Wow. I wasn't sure what to do or say really. All I could do is watch out in case all they wanted was to have sex with me. I obviously cannot defend myself if I decided to change my mind and he wouldn't listen. All I could do was wait and see what came of it.
I started talking with a guy named Tyler and the first thing I had to ask is if he read the profile that I put up about being a quadriplegic? He said yes, but the wheelchair isn't what I'm interested in. It's the person. I have to say I was just a tad bit shocked. We talk just about all day and he will call me just to listen to me breathe. He lives about an hour from me. I have to say I like him a lot so far but only time will tell if we can truly be in a relationship.
Saturday, June 4, he came down to meet me and my family. It's just the safest way to meet someone new since I'm not able to defend myself alone. We had a fish fry with a few other people besides the normal household. He and I are shy people so the first time I saw we both stayed quiet. I felt awkward because that's just how I am. Later I asked him if I was awkward and he said no he was just shy. Thank goodness! We all sat outside on the porch as Derek fried the fish talking about fishing. We all had a nice time. Jessica wasn't able to sit and talk with him very much because she was busy making sides for the fish. So when he left I figured that he would not come back and stop texting me. That was surely not the case. We made plans to see each other the very next weekend!
Saturday, June 11, today was my family reunion for my mom's side of the family. I honestly wasn't really looking forward to going until Tyler said that he would tag along if I didn't care. Whoa. I was so not expecting that. There were just a million things running through my head. How do I introduce him to my family? "Hey this is my boyfriend?" "Hey this is my gay guy friend?" (Inside joke I'll explain later) I was just like okay I'll let him introduce himself. Best bet of all. So we are on our way and Tyler has us both cracking up with stupid little shit that only we would laugh at. He's very one of a kind. He's sweet, an asshole and funny all at the same time. As we sit down waiting for the reunion to actually start so we could eat take pictures and go home everyone I see I don't have a clue who they are. I know that somehow we are related obviously but I don't know anyone. Joy we sat and talked some and finally the family started and blessed the food so we can eat. I get very nervous about eating in front of him because I'm not the graceful eater and usually I ended up wearing most of my food instead of eating it. So you know I'm trying to be careful with my plate when I think he wasn't watching and swing my fork into my mouth but missed it totally. I look up and he's giggling and I'm like "Oh shut up." I started giggling with him. When it was finally time for us to go we laughed our ass off the ride home. We stopped by Momma's grave to just see how the diets settling since we don't get out that way much. I immediately start crying and regretting my decision. I ask that neither of them turn back and look at me since I'm crying. It's just hard to see my mom in the grave. So I kinda cry almost half way home and thank goodness he tried to make me laugh. When we got home he got in the recliner and we watched part of a movie together before he needed to leave. I was kinda stretched out some when he leans in to hug me and I am like crap lol. I thought he was going to kiss me but it was just a hug. I enjoy his company.
Sunday, June 12, today Tyler came over and we snuggled up together on the couch. We watched Netflix for two whole movies. I enjoy his company very much but I don't want to rush into anything and he feels the same way. I done somethings today that I'm not proud of but I done them so I can't change it now. I won't say the details but anyway.
It's been weird to get to know this young man because I have never been given the chance to to see the opposite sex. We will see where this journey takes me.
I created a Tinder account to try to at least meet new people whether or not anything would actually come from it. After a few days I started to get matches, which just shook me up, there's guys out there that think I'm pretty enough to give a relationship a try. Wow. I wasn't sure what to do or say really. All I could do is watch out in case all they wanted was to have sex with me. I obviously cannot defend myself if I decided to change my mind and he wouldn't listen. All I could do was wait and see what came of it.
I started talking with a guy named Tyler and the first thing I had to ask is if he read the profile that I put up about being a quadriplegic? He said yes, but the wheelchair isn't what I'm interested in. It's the person. I have to say I was just a tad bit shocked. We talk just about all day and he will call me just to listen to me breathe. He lives about an hour from me. I have to say I like him a lot so far but only time will tell if we can truly be in a relationship.
Saturday, June 4, he came down to meet me and my family. It's just the safest way to meet someone new since I'm not able to defend myself alone. We had a fish fry with a few other people besides the normal household. He and I are shy people so the first time I saw we both stayed quiet. I felt awkward because that's just how I am. Later I asked him if I was awkward and he said no he was just shy. Thank goodness! We all sat outside on the porch as Derek fried the fish talking about fishing. We all had a nice time. Jessica wasn't able to sit and talk with him very much because she was busy making sides for the fish. So when he left I figured that he would not come back and stop texting me. That was surely not the case. We made plans to see each other the very next weekend!
Saturday, June 11, today was my family reunion for my mom's side of the family. I honestly wasn't really looking forward to going until Tyler said that he would tag along if I didn't care. Whoa. I was so not expecting that. There were just a million things running through my head. How do I introduce him to my family? "Hey this is my boyfriend?" "Hey this is my gay guy friend?" (Inside joke I'll explain later) I was just like okay I'll let him introduce himself. Best bet of all. So we are on our way and Tyler has us both cracking up with stupid little shit that only we would laugh at. He's very one of a kind. He's sweet, an asshole and funny all at the same time. As we sit down waiting for the reunion to actually start so we could eat take pictures and go home everyone I see I don't have a clue who they are. I know that somehow we are related obviously but I don't know anyone. Joy we sat and talked some and finally the family started and blessed the food so we can eat. I get very nervous about eating in front of him because I'm not the graceful eater and usually I ended up wearing most of my food instead of eating it. So you know I'm trying to be careful with my plate when I think he wasn't watching and swing my fork into my mouth but missed it totally. I look up and he's giggling and I'm like "Oh shut up." I started giggling with him. When it was finally time for us to go we laughed our ass off the ride home. We stopped by Momma's grave to just see how the diets settling since we don't get out that way much. I immediately start crying and regretting my decision. I ask that neither of them turn back and look at me since I'm crying. It's just hard to see my mom in the grave. So I kinda cry almost half way home and thank goodness he tried to make me laugh. When we got home he got in the recliner and we watched part of a movie together before he needed to leave. I was kinda stretched out some when he leans in to hug me and I am like crap lol. I thought he was going to kiss me but it was just a hug. I enjoy his company.
Sunday, June 12, today Tyler came over and we snuggled up together on the couch. We watched Netflix for two whole movies. I enjoy his company very much but I don't want to rush into anything and he feels the same way. I done somethings today that I'm not proud of but I done them so I can't change it now. I won't say the details but anyway.
It's been weird to get to know this young man because I have never been given the chance to to see the opposite sex. We will see where this journey takes me.
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