April Otwell
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Black Balloon

10/3/2018

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Momma,
Today would have been your 50th birthday. It’s actually hard to believe that you were going to be that old. I can’t see you being any older than you were when you left this world behind you. I think back to all the years I got to spend with you and I am forever grateful for every minute.
It’s been 2 1/2 years since you departed this world. I still haven’t come to terms with the fact that you’re gone. I always think that I’m going to see you walk back through that door one day and act like you never left. If that were only the case. I guess heaven was needing a hero.
I think about how you will never be there to hold your grandchildren. How I will have to get married without you one day, and how important milestones you won’t be here in person to celebrate them with me. I know you are in a far better place than this cruel world.
If you were here today you would get your black balloons and laugh about it. I remember giving you your 30th or 40th birthday card, we had just moved to Bandera Texas not too long ago and I made you a card in art class. I got all of my friends to sign it so you knew how loved you were. One of my friends drew you a black balloon and we giggled about it for days. You’re so much I want to tell you and so much I want to share with you.
Sometimes it feels like I’m drowning without you. I want your opinion and your advice on so many things. I’m living my life as best as I can without you. I have so many plans for my life and I know you’re right there rooting me on even if I can’t see you.
Until we meet again, happy birthday Momma.
-Your baby girl
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    Paralyzed from the neck down after an ATV rollover at 14, April Otwell is beating the odds the doctors gave her. She's a blogger, fantasy writer, college student, sugar glider guardian and spinal cord injury survivor.  She's even writing her first fiction novel!

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