In January of 2016 my mom made the decision to take her own life by shooting herself in the head. It was totally unexpected and left me devastated. She was more than my mom, she was my everything. After my spinal cord injury she basically gave up her life to be my caregiver. In the seven and a half years following my injury we may have spent three days apart in total.
Thankfully I'm not the one to find her, however I've seen enough CSI to know what that room looked like. It took many weeks to finally be able to sleep through the night again. I stayed awake trying to understand how my mom could just leave me like that, understand how she couldn't say goodbye. As time went on I came to terms with the fact that my mother was a paranoid schizophrenic that felt like she had no other choice than to take her own life, and that she didn't do what she did to hurt me but to give me my best chance at life even if that meant without her.
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