April 03rd, 2017
In January of 2016 my mom made the decision to take her own life by shooting herself in the head. It was totally unexpected and left me devastated. She was more than my mom, she was my everything. After my spinal cord injury she basically gave up her life to be my caregiver. In the seven and a half years following my injury we may have spent three days apart in total.
Thankfully I'm not the one to find her, however I've seen enough CSI to know what that room looked like. It took many weeks to finally be able to sleep through the night again. I stayed awake trying to understand how my mom could just leave me like that, understand how she couldn't say goodbye. As time went on I came to terms with the fact that my mother was a paranoid schizophrenic that felt like she had no other choice than to take her own life, and that she didn't do what she did to hurt me but to give me my best chance at life even if that meant without her.
4/4/2017 10:24:45 am
I can not believe what a wonderful person you have become, and maybe it is because of what you have been through. But I know one thing, you was her whole life, by that I mean you were all that mattered. But everyday I think of what you have have endured through your young life, you are sooo strong. I do not think that I could have the positive out look on life that you do. I am so thankful that God has brought you through so much and that you are an inspiration to me. Just know that your Aunt Beth thanks God everyday for you and love you more than you will ever know. Keep looking to Him for your strength and guidance.
4/5/2017 08:56:28 am
So sorry for your loss. Praying for you
9/7/2017 06:03:58 am
I am sorry for your loss. I think that if you are physically injured as you are. Even though it is difficult, you have a greater chance of achieving things than if you have psychological sickness like your Mum. Chin up and stay strong xxx
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Paralyzed from the neck down after an ATV rollover at 14, April Otwell is beating the odds the doctors gave her. She's a blogger, fantasy writer, college student, sugar glider guardian and spinal cord injury survivor. She's even writing her first fiction novel!