April Otwell
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A Letter To My Spinal Cord Injury

2/28/2019

1 Comment

 
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To my spinal cord injury,
It’s been a crazy ten years together. You’ve knocked me down so many times I have lost track. I’ve learned that when you get knocked down on your knees it’s the perfect position to pray.
You came into my life suddenly, to be honest cruelly and unfairly. It was a shock to not only me but my friends and family too. One moment I was a teenage girl who had the world at her fingertips and the next I was a girl no longer in control of her body. If I’m being truthful, I was going down such a dark path. I was becoming a conceited little brat. In some ways, you have saved me from years in the dark and I thank you for that. I never thought I would say those words...
At the beginning of our journey together you were a total bitch that came with a whole lot of complications. If things were not your way you would throw a fit. You would gang up on me at times and back me into a corner. I’m not going to lie there’s been a lot of tears shed but I have shown you that I’m the boss. (That’s not an easy job!)
I’ve learned a lot from you. I’ve learned to be kind, and compassionate to others. I’ve learned I’m stronger than anything this world could ever throw at me. I can survive the lowest of lows and still rise above them, like a phoenix from the ash. That no matter how much weight God puts on my shoulders I can handle it with grace.
I’ve met so many wonderful people that I carry around in my heart. People that have given me so many life lessons and made me a better person. That’s something, not even you can take away from me.
You have also taken some things from me. I guess you could say it’s a give and take relationship. You’ve taken my independence. I can no longer survive on my own. I will always have to have someone help me do the basic tasks. You have taken the career that I have longed for since a child but has since given me a new career that I love.
You have given me a purpose in life and that is to inspire others. I can show others that have a spinal cord injury that there is a life after this injury.  Life’s not over just because you have come into their lives.
You have given me more self-confidence than I ever thought possible. I am no longer embarrassed by your irritating fit throwing. I now embrace who I am and see my body as beautiful. My scars are beautiful because it means I survived. I have beaten the odds. They are my battle scars and I am grateful for each and every one of them.
The biggest lesson you have taught me is that laughter is the best medicine. I wouldn’t be who I am if I didn’t learn how to laugh at myself and my situation. Going through this journey with a demanding and bossy condition like you without laughter, there would be a lot more tears.
I know we still have a long road ahead of us but we are in this together until the end.
-April
1 Comment
Amy Ericksen link
2/21/2022 11:47:19 am

Thank you for your inspiring message I just had my one year anniversary after my spinal cord injury and your letter that you wrote was very helpful to me continue to learn and deal about this prayers to you and your continued recovery thank you again

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    Paralyzed from the neck down after an ATV rollover at 14, April Otwell is beating the odds the doctors gave her. She's a blogger, fantasy writer, college student, sugar glider guardian and spinal cord injury survivor.  She's even writing her first fiction novel!

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