April Otwell
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January 26, 2016

2/6/2016

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So it's been a week since I lost my mom due to a mental illness that caused her to commit suicide via gunshot to the head. It's crazy to think she's been gone ten days. I still find myself thinking about her often and missing her all the same. I just want her back but I know she's in a better place. The illness that was clouding her brain can no longer effect her. Sure I'll always miss her and love her but with time the pain will dim. I just wished I would have let her hug me and kiss me more. For that, it is my fault and I'll alway regret not letting her. She said I would and she was right.
Aunt Sue died a day ago too so there's another funeral going on tomorrow for her. It seems that when it rains it pours. She died of stomach cancer that's rare and untreatable. I didn't really know her well enough to cry over her death. I can remember staying with her when Lucy was there but that was when we were nine or ten. I'm sad because she was family and I'm also sad because I didn't have the chance to know her more. It's sad that our family never really gets together unless someone dies. It's not supposed to be that way but with such a large family it's hard to keep everyone close.
I called the place in Monroe to check on the motors but they have not received them yet. Great. So I called the Springfield and they have been having bad weather so they have not been able to ship them out. Grrrr I could just choke them! I'm stuck in one spot and I'm sick of it.
I'm ready to get all my things from Missouri so I can start settling in here and moving on with my life. It's going to be hard but I'm going to have too sooner or later. I have so much I want to do but I don't know how to go about doing them. If that makes any sense. It's raining so until it's stopped the portable building can't be moved. Ugh is all I can say.
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    Paralyzed from the neck down after an ATV rollover at 14, April Otwell is beating the odds the doctors gave her. She's a blogger, fantasy writer, college student, sugar glider guardian and spinal cord injury survivor.  She's even writing her first fiction novel!

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