This was found in my notes but never posted.
I'm a quadriplegic that cannot dress herself and wanting to have a baby. That makes a lot of sense now right? It seems like every which way I turn I see a baby or someone announced that they are going to be a parent. I can't seem to catch a break. I know that having a tiny human that I'm responsible for is so much work but I think I'm ready. I know that I won't act on these urges so I decided to write what I'm feeling down in a blog to hopefully clear it out of my system.
I have nothing to offer a baby other than never ending love. I can't drive. I can't dress myself. I don't have a job. I'm dependent on someone for EVERYTHING I do. So why would I even want to bring a helpless baby in the mix I have no idea. On my Pinterest account I will go through my feed and it's nothing but clothes and baby things. How sad? I can't talk to my mom about these feelings because she will just lecture me about it forever. Ugh…
Everyone needs to stop having babies! Plain and simple.
I think to myself at night, “Okay let's try to loose a bunch of weight so I can try to learn to transfer myself.” I am loosing weight though it's not as fast as I want to be but it's a slow process anyway.
It's 3:30 am and I can't sleep so I'm writing blogs to post so I'm more active. I need to finish college, get a steady income, learn to drive and then think about having a baby. I repeat these things over and over to myself but the urge hasn't went away yet. I've done so much research on sperm donor clinics near me and what to expect when pregnant while dealing with a spinal cord injury and the things that come along with it. I've watched countless videos dealing with a high risk pregnancy and what to do and not to do. I guess when I do decide to pursue it I'll be well informed. I see all of these cool baby items or clothes and I just want to cry because I want one soooooo bad.
There's so much good that comes with motherhood and I just want to experience that for myself. I have so many questions. Will I be able to feel the baby kick? What would I name the baby? Could I deliver naturally or need a C-section? Would the baby be premature? Would I be a good mom?